If I were in a band....

This past weekend I was lucky enough to get my hands on some serious Rock Band action at a friend's house. Now, this was my first encounter with the experience (yeah, that's right, it's not a game, man) and let me tell you, ROCKIN'!!... but not really, sorta furiously clicking and concentrating really hard. So, yeah, I was slightly intoxicated. One mustn't pass up free Absolut. Am I right? Yes, I am. And tallboys of PBRs (pronounced perbs). I played the drums, and the guitar, and I sang - BOY! Did I sing! Wow. Now, I'm no Yoko Ono, but I can waaaaaaaaaaaail if I want to! Actually, I think I loved singing the most because it was the only thing I didn't have to get saved on. Drumming was a lot of fun once I got the hang of it; the guitar grew on me? Anyway, it was SPECTACULAR! - and I can't wait for some more rockin' with my friends (I sang that so you know). ASIA'S ONLY TIME WILL TELL just came on!!! I wonder if they have that? Okay, you know what's crazy? That I just found a list for all the songs on Rock Band on wikipedia - the things. Is the internet bigger than the world? NO! They sure don't have it! An atrocity! And, what I was getting to is band names. Yeah, Ricky don't lose that number. Hey! That could be one: Ricky & the Numbers? No, okay just that line? Is it copyrighted? Yes. So, I was thinking about if I were to ever be in a rock band, what would the name be? Y'know? And I concluded that I would make sure we had a fuckin' outrageous name to match our fuckin' outrageously awesome sound.... AKA:

**Not in any particular order as all are AWESOME!!

1. Like Water (briefly explored in college with my partner in musical crime, Smash McDash AKA DJ Miss Slee)

2. Gang of Cats

3. Earthquake Insurance

4. Scott Bakula is my Father

5. Six Shootin' Sisters

6. Plaid & Corduroy

7. Umlat: Dot Dot

8. Ferociousity

9. Anne & the Toinettes

10. Dingbat Tally & Cribby Squires (a one-time only duo event - maybe to be resurrected later?)

11. Lazarus Rising

12. Jellybean & the Jaybirds (back-up singers nekkie, of course)

13. Rawr!

14. Jaguar Kitties

15. Chief Thick Beard

16. MCRs (I didn't want to tell you what it meant. Keep you guessing, y'know? But I might forget if I don't: Magic Carpet Riders; shh)

17. The Unemployment Line

18. Lichtende Zeeën/Fluorescent Sea

19. From Fish to Birds

20. Archimedes & The Wizard

21. Cape Cad in the Summah

22. The Doo Wats (alternative spelling Doo Wats -- inspired by Tony Pastor and the Clooney Sister's "Gonna Get a Girl")

23. In Honor of Ellington

24. Paisley & The Squares

25. You Best Buy

26. Canuck, Y'Wanna

27. Cliche Clique Chic (okay, just try to say it a couple times really fast, you get the hang of it, no? No? Oh.)

28. The Killer Dillers

29. Whachutahk'bouts

30. Running With Kites

31. Panda Bears & Bully Buttons (first album/we would ad as: Who doesn't love us?)

32. C'mon

33. Mr. Bojangles' Band

34. Tonight, Tonight, Tonight (Ohhh ohh - what is that song; who sings it? I can only remember that part and a few mumbles before and after.) GENESIS! I don't need your help. Band name still? Maybe just The Ohhh Ohhs, it would encourage our fans to sing along.

35. I Found a Monkey

36. Two Brains, One Mic (or that could just be a smashing article title for an explosive criticism of a bad band; or ironic)

37. The Wits

38. Oui: a French Yes cover band (I plan to go abroad one day)

39. Pine Tree Island

40. Scotch, Straight Up

41. Scotch, On the Rocks

42. Jimmy, Give Me a Cola

***George Clooney Drinks Whiskey
***George Clooney Drinks Scotch
***George Clooney Drinks Bourbon
***George Clooney Drinks A Lot

43. Chevy Chase is Paul Simon

44. Dogs in the Moonlight

45. We Are Flight Attendants

46. Incidents & Accidents

47. Sheep & Ewes

48. Warm Wool

49. Ewes Are Sheep

50. Sheep Are Ewes

51. The Venn Diagrams

52. The Pony Express

53. Noise Boulevard

54. Deutschland ist mein Heim

55. The Screaming Lobsters

56. God, I Hate Boars

57. Cabra Picante

58. The Ghost Owls

59. Porter, Cavendish & Wadsworth

60. The Railroad Tycoons

61. Hammer Fight

62. The Lonely Remainder

63. Fuckin' Long Division

Okay, and I think that's it. If you couldn't tell, I was kinda grabbing for things there at the end. Ohhh. This was fun. K.

64. Georgie & The Highlighters

65. Camping Vacation

66. Oxymoron

I'm doing it again. Done. For real.

67. Charlie & The Prisms

The next day...

68. The Radness

69. Rodney Raddington & The Raiders

70. Golden Toothpicks

71. Whiskey Love

72. The Dull Surprises

73. Sally & The Swashbucklers

74. Jeremiah Messiah

Later that day...

75. Captain William & The Kidds (though this might require a frontman named, William, which I would assume is completely doable with a visit to the County Clerk - is that where you go for name changes?)

76. The Land Pirates

77. It's Freedom Time!

A few days later...

78. Fax Machine Confusion

79. Falafel Joy

80. Bamboo Shooters

81. Mind Loss

*** 12.14 additions
The [Red] Rovers
Wandering Rovers (first title: Rovers Rove Redundantly)