How Bizzah!

***PICTURE SURPRISE POST***

I think this is the first time, in a long time, that I'm posting outside office hours! Woweewhoaweewow, you may be saying, and also, This is gonna be good. Real good.

Well, you're right. It is. It is.

And weird. Weird occurrences/sightings (starting at #2).

#1 - I GOT A BIKE!!! (A bike!! A bike!!) It's called a SPRITE, that's right!! It's a li'l bronze Raleigh Cruiser from the early 70s - awlriiiiiight. I'm gonna get a basket put on it tomorrah, and I'll need some lights, too. But, ooooohhhhhh, not a lock. Nooooo, I won't be needing a lock. Because I've got the fuckin' lock of locks, only magic and fire can take my bike from me now!!! This. is the lock. Yes. Of locks.

--OKAY, SIDE NOTE!!! MUSIC CHOICE, ON MY TV!!!

#1 CONT'D - Lock. Of Steel. The Bulldog STD. Yeah, I tittered a bit at the name, too. Oh. You didn't? Haha. Right. Anyway, I stopped laughing when I checked out their website to register my 4 - oh, wait - 5 keys (and one of 'em is humungo and has a bright LED in it!) and I think it's gonna take a lot to kill a four-headed bulldog. So yeah, it's super strong, and apparently Chicago is the Theft Capital of the Country. Really? That's what the bikeman said. Nope, that's NY for a few years, then Philly. We're #2. Yeaaaaah! Bike's protected! This is basically it, bronze and everything. I think I'll call it Brown Lightning. What do you think? True, and slightly amusing. A diarrheal double entendre, if you didn't get that. Hah.

#2 - Walking up Michigan after work, there was a woman with a surgical mask on. I was very puzzled. I probably stared. A surgical mask. She didn't look like a surgeon. Half between a stressed out cat lady and bag lady - pretty crazy. Maybe that explains the mask. Or, the germs!! (Like cats and babies have, because there are so many downtown!) Then I imagined what it would be like if everyone were wearing surgical masks, and some of us chose to get designed ones because we wore them so much. A - that'd be creepy walking, and being, a masked person - or, if everyone else was masked and you weren't. Basically zombies. B - scary potential future vision that I can thank Al Gore for bringing to the forefront in all speeches, nightmares. What bad air! My lungs can't even stand to take in directly. So, that's LA, huh? Maybe winters aren't so bad? Hmm? Hmm.

#3 - CSI: Chicago. At the shop, after the really rickety bus ride - boy, oh boy! Again, I'm talking with the dude who's fixing my bike up ah-real nice. Two serious men in navy jumpsuits and latex gloves approach, I am notified by the dude; Here comes the morgue. I'm puzzled, he explains. Three people are dead upstairs. Overdose. They got into some bad stuff, they took too much. The needles were still in their arms. The morgue's been in, out and around all day. I'm shocked and all I can say is, That's too bad, and shake my head. Then, It's like something out of CSI. My Mom would've loved that! And then the dude starts talking about his daughter wanting to get into that line of work. He's not too happy about it, but if it makes her happy. It's a pretty horrific and depressing career we decided. Handling dead bodies who were living people sometime recently, figuring out the reasons. I couldn't stomach the initial shock, let alone the science! But y'know, if someone can and they're happy, alright. That's what I always say - maybe just to myself - if you're happy and not hurting anyone or yourself, then, alright. Yeah. Anyway, by the time the dude finished sprucing it up: adding new brake pads, cables, wrenching and stuff; I took a few spins around the park; I ran across the street to the Liquor Store's ATM to get dollars; lock installed/explained, there was no sign of a body bag sighting, though the escalation built considerably with each white van addition to the crew.

The ride home was a dream. Beautiful night. Don't even get me started on the debate.

Oh yeah, so the bikeshop (ONEWORD cause I say it so fast) is: Nearly New and it's at: 3826 N. Broadway. Friendly, helpful, blast sweet tunes, knowledgeable, fast, expert, rockin' goodness.

Brown Lightning: $165
Lock of Locks: $25

OH, yeah, and a 60 day supreme warranty, and awesomeness to provide quality affordably in the future post-60. Sweetness.