Why is it that the most brilliant ideas only come to me when there is no pen (and paper) handy?Why did I believe for so long that I'd be a millionaire by age 25, and spent accordingly?
When did I stop wanting to go out and party every Wednesday - Tuesday?
Why do I feel like I'm 30 even though I'm only 23?
Why does my Mother still tell me, "Don't drink!" when I leave for the grocery store?
When did I lose sight of my dreams?
Why can't I have a no-strings-attached sugar daddy to take care of all my student loans?
Why won't awesome employers hire me just because I want them to feel my incredible capability through telepathy?
Why haven't I been "discovered" for my dance moves, blog posts/match.com profile, general awesomeness and outrageousness, yet?
When will I live in a fully-insulated mansion/apartment/home/shack?
Why hasn't anything my friends and I predicted in MASH come true?
When will I drive my Lamborghini hybrid - with my Great Dane, Darwin, sitting in the back - to pick up my Nobel Prize-winning neurosurgeon husband to drive off into the sunset for a weekend in Vermont?
When will I reach the moon so I can dance with the stars?
Why don't the upstairs neighbors realize/care that my roommate and I can hear them having sex when we bang on the walls and yell "NO"s in responses to their "YES"s at 3am on a Tuesday morning?
How many years will it take before I become an "overnight success"?
Why is it that Sean Penn had to go and steal my dream of turning "Into the Wild" into a movie, and why did he have to do such a great job of it?
When will my friend, Mike, and I shake hands with the executives at HBO for the three-season contract of our television show?
Why hasn't Oprah hired me yet?
Why am I not travelling by teleportation yet?
When will my telepathic abilities kick in?
When will Joshua Jackson's people serve a restraining order to my cubiclemate?
1 comment:
Please contact me when you find the answers!
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