Feelin' Ripe

Yesterday I ended walking home from work. I didn't do this on purpose. Just thought that it would be faster to take the bus than take the train and walk ah mile. Well, well, well. The CTA sure loves to screw me over. I walked to the bus street. Walked up the bus street a little. Stopped for 5 minutes in hopes the bus in my direction would zoom over the horizon. It did not. I kept walking. I turned to check the status. No bus. Kept walking. 1, 2 buses in the other direction. Surely they'll turn around and pick me up soon. 3, 4, 5 buses going the other way. They're coming, they're coming. Kept walking. Hmm. Well, I'm about 6 blocks away so I can't get on a bus even if I want to because I can walk that. I resign myself to not taking the bus. 6, 7. Turn off the bus street. 4 miles and not a bus. Not a bus but in the opposite direction.

So, this morning. I'm getting ready for work and I'm thinking about how I might not be able to run when I get home. I jump into some running clothes. Throw my flip-flops, wallet, keys and breakfast in a bag and set out in the morning sunshine. It felt great, I was moving fast. Although I do wish I had a fanny pack because holding a bag was slightly uncomfortable/annoying. Then I got to work, stretched outside on the plaaaaaaaaaaaza, then took the elevator up. I wiped the sweat off and got to work.

Thing is... my deodorant is done working for the time being. I don't think I smell. Maybe salty, but nothing rancid. At least not yet. I'm excited to sit really close to someone and maybe even stumble over them as I should be pretty ripe by the time I get outta here.

ROTHBURY!!!

Opposite of the World

This morning was verrrry strange, to say the least. All things fairly normal at home, but when I walked to the bus stop, my iPod headphones started shorting out... they've seen their last days I fear. I wrap 'em around the pod, and sometimes when I'm at work, I forget that the string doesn't go as far as I want it and sometimes I get yanked back towards my computer when I reach for something to my left. So that probably doesn't help much either. Anyway, that's one weird thing - not so much weird as inconvenient.

Then, I was waiting for the 7:15 bus - no show - and this guy was pacing around and around, like the bus would be able to detect his frantic anxiety and come sooner - it did not. He grabbed a Red Eye and read it for about 7 minutes and then THREW IT IN THE TRASH! Really, sir?! Do you not understand that you most likely just destroyed a forest that would feed, clothe, and shelter your children!! It's your fault, sir. He could've recycled it. It's a free paper, so it wouldn't cost anything!! I didn't say anything, though. I wanted to go "Ub bub bub!" when he opened the trash lid, and then say, "What do you think you're doing? Just put it back where you got it." But I didn't really think it was my place, and then I wish I would've, but I didn't want to dig in the trash bin because it was a trash bin and not a recycling bin and who knew what sort of "things" were in there. I think if he's there again tomorrow, (he's a bus stop regular: Warren the Waster) I'll say something, maybe.

The bus rolls in at 7:30, acting like nothing's wrong, and the driver patiently waits for us to get on by reading the morning news. I glare at her a little, but only for a small second. Oh! It's so crowded! And there was this lady with headphones on who got real huffy when an old lady stood up and mentioned she needed to get off, but not just yet. Headphones didn't hear that second part and started saying, really aggressively, "Can we move to let this lady out?!" A very big exasperated sigh and she pushed her way out the front, waiting. All the while, the woman says in a small voice, "I'm not getting out here. I'm not getting out right now." But Headphones couldn't hear, and I was very embarrassed for her standing outside there, huffing angrily. Later on in the trip she missed her stop, and she cursed for a bit. Sometimes those buses are tricky, and I just wanted to tell her to breathe, and that everything would be okay. You'll get where you're going eventually, miss. But she might've shanked me had I said that. So again, I remained silent.

Everyone seemed like they were rushing this morning, and I just felt like taking my time because I left early, but ended up getting to work on-time -- merh! And I thought, as I walked up the stairs, without my iPod, what's the deal world? Why am I always the opposite of everyone else? On the days when people are rushing, I'm strolling. When I'm in a hurry, people shuffle slowly ahead of me, walking in zig-zags. If I'm in a bad mood, the world is smiling, which should make me turn that frown upside down, but instead it usually feels like happiness is being rubbed in my face. Ha ha, look how you don't feel! Or maybe I'm happy and everyone else is merh and tired. It's probably not the case at all, but that's just what I was thinking about as I was walking to work.

A beautiful day.

Oh. And then as I waited for the elevator, this woman said something to her colleague about the space filling up... I'm sure it was in reference to office space, but the way she said it sounded like outer space, because she was really amazed that it happened. I can't believe space is inhabited, Mark. I really can't. I mean all these years, and we never knew. They're probably more established in their societies, with more knowledge than we can even assume. And the fact that they found us! Unbelievable. All this time the X-Files and those 3rd encounter alien nut jobs were right, we're not alone!

Jackrabbit Snipers!

I wish I would've walked to school more when I was in high school. I didn't live that far away. Just up the street, about a mile. There weren't any major hills, and it was slightly downhill going to it. I did everything in my power not to walk: rides from friends, friends' parents/siblings, brother. I don't know why. Maybe I didn't want to get all sweaty (Missouri can get quite warm, and quite cold) before class, or because for some reason I thought it wasn't cool. I walked to elementary school with friends, and the middle school was basically in my backyard, and that would've been silly to get a ride. There's an exception to everything, and I guess there were a handful of days when I did walk to h. school. Also, the big duffel bags during sports seasons were a pain in the ass to lug. Eventually I got my own ride and that was fun.

Now I'm back to my pre-16 days without a car. And I have to say, I love it. I walked a lot in college because I always lived on or near campus, and I walk a lot now, being in the city because the CTA is never there when you need it. I really hate paying for cabs unless I absolutely have to take one, and then I try to get as close to my destination as possible before caving, and usually I talk myself into just finishing out the walk because I am so close. Sometimes the night doesn't permit it though and I get creeped out by the strangers lurking just beyond the streetlamps.

Anyway, what brings this on is that I was really enjoying walking to work today - there's just something about the fact that you got yourself from A to B all on your own accord, without a motor or a machine. That you, yourself, are a finely tuned machine with muscles propelling you in the direction of your destination. It's rewarding. And I think I'm in love with running again. Not obsessively so just yet, but getting close. I think I need to get new shoes before that happens. I've always enjoyed it - well, not true. I was on the track team for about a week in 8th grade, and then I got shin splints, ugh! it was awful, and I was a little baby about it, but I feel it was slightly warranted as I was only 13 and shin splints are no good no matter what the age. But yes, I find running to be a fun, sometimes relaxing, and most definitely energizing, and a positively meditative experience.

I ran 13 on Saturday, east down Chicago Ave. then up and down the lakefront, in 2 hours - so that made me happy, and it was noon-time. Hotness, and salty sweat. Then, I stretched while waiting for the bus - good use of time. It finally came and I moved to the back of the bus, just because sometimes that's where I sit if I'm going to be on it for a while, and also I was smelly, but so was the little boy next to me. There were about 1,000,000,000 kids in the back of the bus, and as soon as I took the step up to the platform and saw them, I wanted to turn around. But it was as if I made contact with every single one of them (I didn't really, but that would've been really bizarre/possibly humorous/most definitely um, creepy?) and they dared me to sit in their insanity. So I rose to the challenge and took a seat. Anyway, we're zooming-stopping-starting down Chicago, and we're good for about 5 minutes, then I smell rotten peanuts, if there's even such a thing. It was, let's say rancid peanut butter that had been splashed with some toxic acid and sitting in the sun for 14 days. It came in waves, getting stronger and stronger. The little boy sitting next to me was about 2 (I don't know, could've been anywhere from 11 months to 14 years old - kids are kids) and he had a diaper on, and he was squirming, and this lead me to believe that he was pooping himself. I just sat there and tried to breathe out of my mouth. It was difficult, and I couldn't help but thinking that I was eating the smell. You know when you're a kid, and someone farts in a group, and you plug your nose but then you need to breathe and you take a big gasp, and kids say, "gross! you're eating the fart air!" which is totally worse than smelling it!! And still, sometimes to this day I hold my breath when I drive past a cemetary. Call me crazy... and I'll slap you.

So, I was walking. Wind in my hair, sun on my face, then it wasn't because of all the tall buildings, but I still felt good. Good'ay, Monday. As I was approaching the street I turn on, there was a homeless woman, who probably made herself look as good as she could so she could panhandle on Michigan. She was wearing a semi-clean looking outfit, and her hair was pulled into a tight side half-ponytail sitting on top of her head, but she had the tell-tale smudged dirt on her face saying this isn't just a day job. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be street urchin, the scourge of society. And it made me think about living a day in the life, but that's it. It's just a day, and after that day, you get to go back to being you, and living your life. You can't live a lifetime in a day. And then it made me think of stupid(!) Tyra Banks and her fat suit day when she cried and said she knew what it felt like to be fat and to be looked at by people, and how hard it was to get around, which come on! That was a joke. Seriously?! It didn't even look real, and wow. Really, Tyra Banks, really? How did you get a television show again? Okay, you've probably got the world's best breasts, but brains and personality?! OH NO, MISS, OH NO! So then I got irritated and decided that I would never be able to be a street urchin for a day, and that I would have to try it for a week instead, and then I thought it would probably be dangerous since I was a woman and all that stupid double-standard bullshit that goes on in this society and world.